Sometimes we have thoughts that even we don’t understand. Thoughts that aren’t even true—that aren’t really how we feel—but they’re running through our heads anyway because they’re interesting to think about. If you could hear other people’s thoughts, you’d overhear things that are true as well as things that are completely random. And you wouldn’t know one from the other. It’d drive you insane. What’s true? What’s not? A million ideas, but what do they mean?

“Love does not cost anything. Kind words and deeds do not cost anything. The real beauty of the world is equal for everyone to see. It was given by God equally to all, without restrictions. Everyone, was given a beautiful vehicle in which to express love to others. Feelings are free to express and give to ourselves and each other through our willingness to give and care. What is complicated about this… Why have we made others feel they have to climb mountains and swim oceans in order to make a difference. All we need to understand my friends, is that human life was given equally to us all, not partially but in totality. The sun was given to all. It does not shine on the few. So, just has nature is indifferent to our station or situation, we need to know that we are all equal. We need to focus on the things that are constant and not place our values on things that can be blown away with the next, great, wind. Value life in what ever house it dwells. For when it comes time that we are all stripped to bare bones before the divine and facing eternity, we will understand that the only law we were meant to follow, was to love ourselves and each other. Nothing more…nothing less.”

—	Carla Jo Masterson

“There is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.”

—	Chuck Klosterman

First Day of Raya((=

I’ve learned a lot this year.. I learned that things don’t always turn out the way you planned, or the way you think they should. And I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and I’ve learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.

Because of past experiences, I now find it hard to trust people. If you want me to trust in you, you’re gonna have to prove to me that you’re worth it. Prove to me that you’re not the same as the others. Prove to me that you’ll actually stay. If I’m investing my trust in you, I’m giving you the power to break my heart; yet at the same time, trusting you not to. I hope you’d prove me wrong and show me that you genuinely care.

Went to meet Little princess today. Damn, she has grown alot in a week with the fact that shes going to a months old in a few days time. I really miss her much and getting to see her today was one of the most happiest moment especially with my busy schedule.

I went to Geylang after that with boyfriend Zainuddin to collect my raya clothes which was sent for alteration and also went to buy bofy raya clothes.
Raya is just a few days away and im so not looking for it. Im just not in the mood for raya this year with lots of stuff going on. But for Princess sake, im willing to do anything for her.

And lastly, im pissed off with Sweetheart Syukri today. I was waiting the whole day for his msg and finally i decided to msg him. And atlast, im the one being blame for not msging him. Grrr, why must it be my fault and always me be the one to msg him first? WTH. I dunnu what to think off abt our relationship anymore. I dunnu if its really working out. But one thing for sure, i do love him. Such a pain in the heart.

Today, i was late for school. I woke up at 9am instead of 6am, when i am actually suppose to reach school at 8am. With the fact that i have DTG retest at 10am.

I tried to call a cab but the line were busy. Damn fucked up and stress up i tell you. Decided to take the cab at Wdls mrt station. But instead the situation just got worst. The que for the cab was super long and only one taxi came evry 5 to 10mins. I panicked even more when the time was already 10.10am and im still waiting for a cab.

But then, a guy frm the same school was right infront of the que and was soo kind enough to actually let me share a cab with him. I resist at first but since he was from the school of business also and i was desperate to reach school asap, i decided to share a cab with him cause i dont think i cant wait any longer with the stupid long que.

After we had a few conversation, i got to know, he's Rahmat's cousin =.= wth. At least i knw we had a connection and was not a totally complete stranger. hahas. Damn, i soo owe him one. Especially with the fact he paid for the cab fees. Thanx bro where ever you are. Buat susah je.

“Our lives are not as limited as we think they are; the world is a wonderfully weird place; consensual reality is significantly flawed; no institution can be trusted, but love does work; all things are possible; and we all could be happy and fulfilled if we only had the guts to be truly free and the wisdom to shrink our egos and quit taking ourselves so damn seriously.”

—	Tom Robbins

Babygirl is 1week old today. She's the best gift that God had given me. I've never been this happy since she came into my life. There might still be lots of challenges and obstacle thats comming, but im sure im gonna go through it strongly.

Life has never been easy, and it never will. But everything always happen for a reason. And i hope to have a great future with my little princess.

“To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget.”

— Arundhati Roy

"Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that’s why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living."

Puteri Nur Zerina.. The name which i decided to give to my newborn babygirl. Today she's 3 days old. Ever since she was born, she was my inspiration, my light, my life. She's the only thing that keeps me going in life. Making me more mature and understanding life day by day. Yes, i know it's not going to be and easy journey, but with her being with me, i'll always try to find the strength to keep going.

People can say what they want about the things that has happened and the things that's happening right now, but i'm gonna make sure that i'll stay strong and not let others people's thoughts and saying bring me down.

Babygirl, i'll ensure you that i'll always protect you and noting can break us apart. I Love You, my sweet little princess, my sunshine, my light((=