I constantly wonder how my life looks in other people's eye. Do they think i have it easy? Do they think I have nothing going on for myself? Or are they fascinated with who I am? The thing is that no one will ever know my whole story. No one will ever know the things I've to overcome. - Not even my closest friends, not even my own family. The thing is that people are so quick to judge now a days. You only see a person from what they want and allow you to see. I always to look as put together as i can, and guess that's my way of hiding from the truth. It's just that that way everyone will assume that everything in my life is okay. That I never go through anything. If only everyone knew how broken I am, and how I'm holding on for dear life on this one last strand that's recently become very delicate. The truth is that no one really knows me. No one will ever know me, and sometimes that scares me, because no one will ever know why I am the way I am.

" I've gotten used to hiding my emotions from people. Pretending that nothing is wrong is much easier than admitting that i'm drowning inside. But when i'm sitting alone in my room and everything is silent, i realize i don't know how to be myself anymore. "

On The Fence

life is damn stressfull this few days. all i need is ppl to talk to and someone to understand. but its hard to open up to ppl around you. you might know them for ages, but still its just soo hard.

why is it life have to be complicated. its like as if im standing at the ned of a cliff, just waiting for the right moment to jump down.

i dont know what to do and what to think off anymore. there just soo many things running through my head. for god sake, im only 18. and all i want is to have a nrml life like othr teenage ppl enjoying their life to the fullest.

arghh, i really need to go out at shout whole heart out. i really cant take it no more.

CHINATOWN!

Went to Chinatown with the class today as a part of school excursion whereby we have to study about it later in one of our subjects.
It was damn tiring, not to forget that there was no transport provided to and back.
damn i was irritated with the fact of it.
yes! we might be ite student so called young adults, but hello! im still undrage and you school need to atleast provide a transport -.- '' wth. such a pain.

GIRLS

" Girls are much more than what they seem. They’re more than just the makeup, the clothes, the shoes, the bags, the sunglasses, the outside. They’re more than just whiny bitches. We’re so much more. Too bad some boys can’t understand. A girl’s life is a bitch itself. On a daily basis we deal with bitches, backstabbers, lies, boyfriends, crushes, exes, appearance, insecurity, bullying and so much more. Everyday we wake up, we have to shower, fix our hair. Then, we have to get dressed. We spend hours infront of our mirror for you making sure we look good. Then we have to apply make up. While doing all this, there’s so much to consider. Especially gossipers and guys. If something’s too short, they’ll call us a whore. If something’s too long, they’ll call us ugly. We go through buckets full of ice cream because we’ve had way too many broken hearts. We cry because bitches wanna hate and boyfriends wanna bitch. We can’t complain because we don’t wanna be annoying. We trust people, then they end up stabbing us in the back. We learn stuff the hard way. Every guy out there making a period joke, like are you for real? No, just because you’re being a little bitch and pissing me off doesn’t mean I’m on my period. Get over it. We get hurt multiple times, and keep running back to the same people. We love hard, and hurt hard. We care too much. We’re never understood. We go through so much trouble when you don’t even notice. We listen to songs till five in the morning and fall asleep to it just because it reminds us of you. We try so hard to impress you, while dealing with all that’s said about us. After everything, we sit our asses down on tumblr and reblog everything that reminds us of you. We spill our guts out to our best friends who’ve probably had enough of you. We go on facebook and we check your profile a million times, and go through all your pictures, even if we have seen them all before. We hear what people say about us, and sometimes we break inside. But no matter what, even after everything, we have to come out strong. We have to put a big smile on our faces and pretend like everything’s ok. We have to act nice towards the haters, even knowing everything that they said about us. We love even though we know we shouldn’t. And we wait for something that’ll never happen. But no matter what, we manage to act like everything’s fine, even though everything’s falling apart. That’s a day in a girl’s life. Imagine dealing with all that everyday. We’re so much more than what you think, so much more than what we seem."
// 23,815 notes

Im seriously sick and tired of everything that has been hapeening. This past few weeks have been a mess and full of ups and downs.
I wake up every morning trying hard to put on a smile, but at the end of the day i end up going to bed crying.
I dont know if the situation and the problem will ever end. But one thing for sure.
My problem, is my problem. So dont bother asking why,who and what. As its haard to explain and hard to understand.
and i dont want to trouble anyone because of my problem. So, its okayh. Since im not the type that likes to share my problems to ppl.

~ For those whose close to me and know what's happening, im old enuff to take care of myself. Its time for me to learn to be independent. So please, just let me settle my own problem this time. I seek your understanding. Thank You.