Due date is just a few days away. Well i'm not sure really when, but im still not quite ready for it. Well, i happy and cant wait for my babygirl to be born. But theres still lots to think about and do. It's just to much too handle. And amazingly, im still super active which i've always been during the whole 9month. Weird huh. But i do get tired easily at times.

A name is still yet to be thought off. Well, i have a few but i just want something thats sound nice with a perfect meaning.

Lastly, the school counsellor, class advisor and NUH social worker are really making me more stress with all the question and the answer to my decision which im still yet to think off. Haishh..

Gotta stay strong no matter what. Giving up might seems to be the easiest thing in the world, but when i think of it again, its actually the hardest.

“If you are you breathe. If you breathe you talk. If you talk you ask. If you ask you think. If you think you search. If you search you experience. If you experience you learn. If you learn you grow. If you grow you wish. If you wish you find. And if you find you doubt. If you doubt you question. If you question you understand and if you understand you know. If you know you want to know more. If you want to know more you are alive.”

— National Geographic

I don’t wanna have a great, amazing couple of months and then all of a sudden its over. I don’t want to experience the feeling of being lost, confused, and hurt all over again. I wanna be with you. And I want us to last, no matter how hard any situation is, no matter what/who comes between us.

“It’s much easier to not know things sometimes. Things change and friends leave. And life doesn’t stop for anybody. I wanted to laugh. Or maybe get mad. Or maybe shrug at how strange everybody was, especially me. I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and than make the choice to share it with other people. You can’t just sit their and put everybody’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can’t. You have to do things. I’m going to do what I want to do. I’m going to be who I really am. And I’m going to figure out what that is. And we could all sit around and wonder and feel bad about each other and blame a lot of people for what they did or didn’t do or what they didn’t know. I don’t know. I guess there could always be someone to blame. It’s just different. Maybe it’s good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Because it’s okay to feel things. I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite. I feel infinite.”
— Stephen Chbosky

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

“We all need someone to look at us. We can be divided into four categories according to the kind of look we wish to live under. The first category longs for the look of an infinite number of anonymous eyes, in other words, for the look of the public. The second category is made up of people who have a vital need to be looked at by many known eyes. They are the tireless hosts of cocktail parties and dinners. They are happier than the people in the first category, who, when they lose their public, have the feeling that the lights have gone out in the room of their lives. This happens to nearly all of them sooner or later. People in the second category, on the other hand, can always come up with the eyes they need. Then there is the third category, the category of people who need to be constantly before the eyes of the person they love. Their situation is as dangerous as the situation of people in the first category. One day the eyes of their beloved will close, and the room will go dark. And finally there is the fourth category, the rarest, the category of people who live in the imaginary eyes of those who are not present. They are the dreamers.”

— Milan Kundera (The Unbearable Lightness of Being)

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

I wanna be the kind of girl who leave an everlasting impression.. I don't want to be the type that you'll forget in a week. I want to be hard to forget. I want to have the kinf of impact on you where you know you'll never find anyone else who could ever take my place. Because that's what you are to me.

When i get upset, i shut down. I feel like i should be crying or sreaming or something, but i can't because im turned off. I go silent and don't talk very much. I just sit there and think.

It’s all like a dream. Everything is ecstasy, inside. We just don’t know it because of our thinking-minds. But in our true blissful essence of mind is known that everything is alright forever and forever and forever. Close your eyes, let your hands and nerve-ends drop, stop breathing for 3 seconds, listen to the silence inside the illusion of the world, and you will remember the lesson you forgot, which was taught in immense milky way soft cloud innumerable worlds long ago and not even at all. It is all one vast awakened thing. I call it the golden eternity. It is perfect. We were never really born, we will never really die. It has nothing to do with the imaginary idea of a personal self, other selves, many selves everywhere: Self is only an idea, a mortal idea. That which passes into everything is one thing. It’s a dream already ended. There’s nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be glad about. I know this from staring at mountains months on end. They never show any expression, they are like empty space. Do you think the emptiness of space will ever crumble away? Mountains will crumble, but the emptiness of space, which is the one universal essence of mind, the vast awakenerhood, empty and awake, will never crumble away because it was never born.

There are certain things in life where you know it’s a mistake but you don’t really know it’s a mistake because the only way to know that it really is a mistake is to make that mistake and go, “Yup, that was a mistake”. So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you’ll go about your whole life not knowing whether it was a mistake or not.

Our life is like a land journey, too even and easy and dull over long distances across the plains, too hard and painful up the steep grades; but, on the summits of the mountain, you have a magnificent view—and feel exalted—and your eyes are full of happy tears—and you want to sing—and wish you had wings! And then—you can’t stay there, but must continue your journey—you begin climbing down the other side, so busy with your footholds that your summit experience is forgotten.

I never believed in love, nor did I have a clue what it was. I used to only believe in things that could be proved. But now I believe in love. I still don't know quite what it is, but I'm more than certain that I love you. More than certain.

went to watch Transfomers with MZ♥ after check up at Jrg just now. It's been quite awhile since we last spent time together. Love you lots my baby elephant MZ((=

It’s the worst feeling in the world to love and hate someone all at the same time. And it’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It’s crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and you want to move on, but you’re stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go and you can’t decide what you want. When you have so many things to say, but you don’t know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther and farther away. It’s so hard to think back how things used to be and look at it now and realize that things are different, and they may never be the same again. You tell yourself it’s not worth it, but if it really didn’t matter, you wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about it.

You have to get hurt. That’s how you learn. The strongest people out there, the ones who laugh the hardest with a genuine smile; those are the people who have fought the toughest battles because they’ve decided that they’re not going to let anything hold them down. They're moving on.

Every girl has that one boy, that they'll never get over. That one guy that makes you laugh all the time.That one that gives you butterflies.That one who remembers all the stupid things you say and reminds you about it months from now.That one who has his name written all over your heart.That one who you compare to everyone.That one you never get sick of talking or hearing about.That one you cry over and over about.That one that no one can understand why him.That one everyone thinks you can do better than.That one you ask why her and not me.That one when you first saw him you knew you loved him... That one that in some way ends up not being yours, and that boy for me is YOU.

as I get older I think — can it really be love if we don’t talk that much, don’t see each other? Isn’t love something that happens between people who spend time together and know each other’s faults and take care of each other? Still, by the time I’ve had my share of boyfriends, I discover that even the ones I truly love never bring on the same kind of feeling that I get when I think about him. In the end, I decide that the mark we’ve left on each other is the color and shape of love. That’s the unfinished business between us. Because love, love is never finished.