Our whole lives we’re sold “happily ever after”, time and time again.
In the movies.
On TV. On Facebook, Twitter and even YouTube.
I’ve heard talk about Prince Charming, “The One”, my “soul mate”.I’ve been told that God is designing the PERFECT man for me. That there is ONE out there who will complete me.
And while I’ve always rolled my eyes at these concepts, I failed to realize how much they were etching their way into my thoughts and heart.
I’ve been engage with Firli for 2 years now. And I’ve known I wanted to spend my life with him. We’ve navigated the highs and lows of being engage. We’ve stumbled and struggled A LOT. We’ve had great victories and highs. We’ve cried some, laughed often, bickered more, and smiled the most. We’ve supported one another in the struggles of building our careers. We’ve each seen financial blessings at times and we’ve each been broke-as-a-joke at times. We’ve been faithfully committed to one another and held one another. We’ve wrestled conviction and repented openly to one another. We’ve praised together, we’ve struggled and sinned together. We’ve fallen in love with one another’s families, we’ve wasted days away dreaming of our own future family. We’ve worked out together, vegged out together, and rocked out together. We’ve worked through book studies with one another, spending times with each other, been beyond annoyed with one another. We’ve comforted one another, danced with one another, and respected one another. We’ve navigated through this past two years and ultimately, every day, chosen to grow in love with each other.
But the fact of that matter is that as soon as i realize that my fiance will soon be my husband in a few days time which I promise to cherish for the REST OF MY LIFE, my human nature began to doubt. And I began to realize how much my mind and heart had been crafted by the world, rather than the Word.
You see, the world says there is a soul mate. The world says there is a Prince Charming. The world says there is a PERFECT PERSON for you out there and if you find him, you will live happily ever after. If you marry the wrong one, it’s not the end of the world, you can just divorce him and continue the hunt for the man made JUST for you. The man who will always make you happy. But if you want the least amount of hassle possible, make sure you find the perfect one the first time around.
The world says the person should be perfect for YOU. The ring should be perfect for YOU. The proposal should be perfect for YOU. The wedding should be perfect for YOU. And this TEMPORARY world will certainly praise YOU. (If you manage to host the perfect barn wedding, that is.)
Love for the sake of Allah is without a doubt the strongest type of love. This is due to the fact that love itself can only exist, as long as the reason to love exists. The journey of navigating a lifetime promise has everything to do with Allah.
You see, my mind doubted because I was weighed down with the fear of making the wrong choice. Maybe Fiance wasn’t “The One”. How would I know for sure? There are things we disagree on. There are things about him that don’t always make me happy. It’s been a challenge, at times, loving him. And I KNOW it’s been a challenge for him to love me. Maybe we’re just compatible and I’m making the wrong decision. How do I know, for sure, that he is my soul mate?!. Especially when i have a child on my own, most importantly, how sure i am he will treat my daughter well not being his blood?!?
It is overwhelming, to me, that God would allow me–messy, baggage-carrying, selfis, broken, emotional me–to have the honor and privilege of loving and caring for my fiance, Firli. I know that the minute I believe I’m capable of selflessly and unconditionally loving F, I will fail. But it brings the sweetest joy to my heart to know that I don’t have to go at it alone. That Allah is with me. Allah is with us. And through Him, all things are possible.
I am excited about marrying Firli because he is NOT the perfect man for me. And I am NOT the perfect woman for him. But we are both committed to following the PERFECT Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. , who showed us the perfect example of how to love.
No comments:
Post a Comment